Tribhanga!

I happened to watch a short film starring Kajol sometime back . A strange pattern is seen in the film and it's something worth pondering . 

The story revolves around three women of three successive generations from the same family - the grandmother , the mother and the daughter . In a normal storyline , you would expect the newer generation to get progressive and be a bit more modern and contemporary . But that is not the case in this story. 

The grandmother , married in a conservative family , feels suffocated emotionally on being constantly criticized for ignoring the 'domestic duties' in pursuit of a career as writer. On being constantly nagged , she finally decides to separate from her husband , something  extremely unconventional in those times. 

Her daughter( Kajol ) grows up to be a brat after having a difficult childhood. She refrains from marriage after experiencing the sour relations of her parents and the agony that she faced as a result of their seperation . She grows up to be a hard core fiminist and an independent woman. 

Now, one would expect the daughter and granddaughter of these two rebellious ladies to be an outgoing  modern girl too. But here is an unexpected twist. The third generation girl turns out to be a submissive , docile and an ideologue girl . She marries a man belonging to a traditional conventional family. She reasons it out as the need to give a 'normal family' to her children and  to not be judged as an independent single woman, that her mother was. She happily accepts the traditions and even undergoes a gender test to make sure of carrying a boy , on the advice of the family elders who had a preferance for a boy child .

This story made me ponder , is feminism really doing any good to the women in our country ? Are we really ready as a society for this change ? Is it causing more harm than good to the women? 

Its an open question , that perhaps doesn't have a definite answer . Because we as a society are on crossroads. And as they say - the transitions are always painful ! 

Tryst with the Ganges!

It was a rainy evening in Rishikesh .Water overflew the roadside drains . The mighty Ganges must have been swelled up, she thought. 

She couldn't wait to see the view of the river . But it wouldn't be before morning that she would be able to have a view of the serene river , that surely wouldn't be very calm as of now. 

 

The locals were selling cheap raincoats , that were nothing but sheet of polythene. But on that rainy evening , thats what the tourists were in dire need of.

The auto driver asked her where her hotel was. She faintly remembered the surroundings of the hotel that she had booked , from a previous visit. Laxman jhula was nearby , she thought. After number of twists through the roads of the holy town , she finally reached the hotel . Ishaan it was . 

Yes this is the one she had entered on one of her previous visits, but she had read the 'German bakery' , instead of ' Ishaan '. 

While walking up the steps , on one of the turns through the floors, she caught the sight of the mighty Ganges. What a view ! 

The 'jhula' shimmered with all the faint lights around and the reflection of the mighty river , that was all swollen up  this evening . The drizzle made the view even more baffling . This is it. My purpose has been solved. This site is what she wanted after all the travel through the rough roads, to reach the town . 

The room was cozy and warm. What made it even better was the book  on the bedside table . The book she had always considered to be more than just a book . It was a companion , a friend , a guide ! 

The Gita! 

Life is kind , she thought . She would sleep peacefully !

She had one day to experience the calm of the town. The reason for early alarm !

Soon she stepped down to the restaurant. The German bakery , it read. 

Yes ! This was where she had been the last time . Life comes full circle, she thought. 

But it wouldnt be before half an hour that she could expect being served anything , confided the attendant. Being an off season , the restaurant didn't expect many visitors and so started late in the morning. She quickly ordered two parathas and went down the sloppy road to find some tea on the street vendor shops. 

The one in front of the huge Shivalinga temple was serving tea. She ordered one and meanwhile went in the temple by the time the man prepared ginger tea . 

Somehow , the temples always comforted the soul. What was it about them , she couldn't say . But the peaceful vibes seemed to pierce right to the soul and give a trance-like moment to her when she would ,for a minute , stop thiking and just be. The scent of the incense seemed to cleanse her soul and the frangrance of flowers kept on shivalinga cleared her mind of all the thoughts. The drizzle outside seemed to add to the process of cleansing ! 

As she sipped her tea , she felt thankful for being here. It was a right decision to visit the town , despite the busy schedule , for the peace would have a lasting impact on her soul. 

Without any plans as to what she was to visit next , she went back to the hotel to have her breakfast . It was better to wonder aimlessly through this beautiful town  rather than having a checklist , she thought. 

Left or right ? Left of the hotel looked like a busy street and the right looked relatively less busy with fewer people around . Right it is , she thought. 

The drizzle had stopped by now. Walking down the slope she could see the river rushing down the mountains . The waters entered the plains of the holy city  twirling through the turns in mountainous . She would be calmer in the plains , the river. 

Walking down one of the ghats on the right , she found a place to sit on . It was the edge of the wall that made the ghat . 

She had a good view of the river from the edge ! 

The water looked worn out,  after miles of flow. Yet it didn't have any intention of stopping , or slowing down . The mountains through which the river had travelled must have been huge . The vastness of Himalayas is known acrooss the globe. She sustained those mountains . She never asked for the mountains to move . She made her way through them . She was never the same at any two points of time , and yet she was one , the Ganges. She was called the mother by everyone. Ma Ganga ! 

Why could she not be like her, the Ganges. There was a reason why she was revered across the country, the mother. The everflowimg Ganges, originating from the cold mountains she moved down to the plains . The plains , where she fed generations . Her waters sustained lives , and yet those lives never cared about keeping her clean . Filth and dirt was dumped onto her , which she carried gracefully to the end .Never ever stopping. 

What if she stopped flowing one day ? The men never fathomed this possibility , for she was the mother . She would never abandon her children .  She was the giver. The strong, yet gentle ! 

To Keep flowing , no matter what

She had her lesson . The visit was more than rewarding .

She stood up. More than an hour and it seemed like a minute . She had found the calm she was looking for. She turned around to take one final look at the everflowing waters. 

To keep flowing ...

'Beti bachao, Beti padhao' - a need in ancient times?

Today we see  pan-India campaigns being run by the government to spread awareness about the welfare services for women and the declining sex ratio in the country. The catchy slogan of ‘Beti Bachao ‘ is seen all over the cities and town walls , on banners and posters , printed on auto rickshaws and buses , in the markets as well as government offices. 

‘Beti Bachao’ clearly points at the cruel practices of female foeticide and in todays time , the deaths due to rape could be attributed to the need of this slogan. ‘Beti Padhao’ slogan is significant in the wake of poor state of women literacy in the country. As per 2011 census , the women literacy was merely 64.60 percent in India and that meant only that percentage of women of age 7 and above could ‘read and write with understanding’ as that is all being literate mean as per the definition . So congratulations if you can read my article , you are literate! 

Has this always been the case with the women in our country? A little study from different sources point otherwise!

A study published in International journal of legal developments and allied issues states:

“During the Vedic period, there was no kind of gender discrimination in India. Women were extremely respected and revered by the male members of the family, they were considered goddesses. In those times, women took part in several professions, they were free to marry as per their choice, study and gain education until they get married, etc. They had a special place in the society. The gender discrimination in India started in the post-Vedic period and it reached its highest peak in the Mughal period. In this period, crimes against women became highly dominant and women were treated as objects. They went from the highest position in the society to the lowest position. They were subjected to constant suffering and they had no fundamental rights. Even minimum freedom was denied to the female members of the society. This continued even in the British period and it remains unchanged for a long period.”

Likewise, Will Durant (1885-1981) ,an American historian , states in his book Story of Civilization:

"Women enjoyed far greater freedom in the Vedic period than in later India. She had more to say in the choice of her mate than the forms of marriage might suggest. She appeared freely at feasts and dances, and joined with men in religious sacrifice. She could study, and like Gargi, engage in philosophical disputation. If she was left a widow there were no restrictions upon her remarriage.”

So have we really gone a long way on the path to women emancipation?  A point to ponder upon !

The desire for male child !

Did the ancient Indians only pray for a male child ? May be, as where else these ideas of male child preference take their origin but from vedic texts! 

But wait ! The texts from ancient epics give interesting insights into the perception on daughters vis-a-vis sons in those times. 

According to verse 6.4.17 from the Brihadaranyaka Upanishad dated to between 900 to 600 BCE , the birth of a female child who would be a scholar is desired. 

The quote prescribes the specific rituals for obtaining a learned daughter. The verse states:

"One who wishes that a daughter should be born who would be a scholar and attain a full term of life, should have rice cooked with sesamum, and both should eat it with clarified butter. Then the creators (would-be parents) would indeed be able to produce such a daughter."

This might appear strange to most modern thinkers , but the fact that there is a mention of the way out to parent a daughter in a text as old as Upanishad is an indication that daughters were not always unwanted in the history of India. It rather indicates that daughters were expected to be scholars as much as sons were and ‘Beti bachao’ would only be a redundant slogan then . 

The text in Mahabharata, generally thought to have been composed in the 4th century BCE or earlier, gives an insight into the position of daughter in those times. 

As Yudhishthira seeks guidance on Dharma from Bhishma, the Anushasana Parva compares the value of daughter to a son, as follows:

The daughter, O king, has been ordained in the scriptures to be equal to the son.

— Bhishma, Anushasana Parva, Mahabharata 13.47.26

Grandfather Bhishma further explains to Yuddhistira before his death : 

“O ruler of the earth, the lineage in which daughters and the daughters-in-law are saddened by ill treatment, that lineage is destroyed. When out of their grief these women curse these households, such households lose their charm, prosperity and happiness.” (Mahabharata, Anushashanparva, 12.14)

Manusmriti that includes many contradictory statements on the status of women, at one point states :

“Yatra Nari Astu Pujyante, Ramante Tatra Devataa”

“Where women are honoured, there the gods rejoice; where, on the other hand, they are not honoured, there all rites are fruitless.”

I can only conclude that the need for ‘Beti Bachao’ didn’t stem from the ancient times. It was only in the course of history that the daughters were looked down upon as burdens and  instances of female foeticide increased drastically. 

Was dowry prevalent since time immemorial ? 

Its well known that the evil practices like dowry are the major cause for females being undervalued in Indian society and a major cause of considering them as burden. Though there are other reasons too , as in the lineage of family is only carried forward by male child in India, but that alone cannot be the reason for the rampant female foeticides despite ban on pre-natal sex screening.

But what about those earlier times? Didn’t the parents have to pay to get their daughters married ? Lets check from some accounts of the historians and travellers to India.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that Scholars are of the view that ancient and early medieval Hindu society did not practice Dowry. The practice became widespread sometime in the 2nd millennium CE due to socio-political developments in those times. 

Michael Witzel, the professor of sanskrit at Harvard university , states that -

Ancient Indian literature suggests dowry practices were not significant during the Vedic period. 

Arrian , belonging to Alexander the Great's conquest era, in his first book, The Invasion of India by Alexander the Great, mentions a lack of dowry in India during those times :

“They (these ancient Indian people) make their marriages accordance with this principle, for in selecting a bride they care nothing whether she has a dowry and a handsome fortune, but look only to her beauty and other advantages of the outward person.

Arrian's second book, Indika , notes:

“They (Indians) marry without either giving or taking dowries, but the women as soon as they are marriageable are brought forward by their fathers in public, to be selected by the victor in wrestling or boxing or running or someone who excels in any other manly exercise.”

In fact there were practices of Swayamvara at ancient times when the girl was free to choose her groom from amongst the eligible men. Such was the freedom entrusted to the women of ancient times . 

Even the cruel practise of Sati started in the later times to prevent kidnappings of young widows by foreign rulers.

David Brick, from Yale university ,in his 2010 review of ancient Indian literature, states

There is no mention of Sahagamana (Sati) whatsoever in either Vedic literature or any of the early Dharmasutras or Dharmasastras. “

So looks like our ancestors were more tolerant when it came to a girl child.

‘Beti Padhao’ - Relevance in ancient times?

Was there a need to propagate the ‘Beti Padhao’ slogan in ancient times. Was education of girls considered unnecessary?

A sloka from Rig Veda gives an interesting insight about the status of women education in vedic times . It states:

O women! These mantras are given to you equally (as to men). May your thoughts, too, be harmonious. May your assemblies be open to all without discrimination. Your mind and consciousness should be harmonious.I (the rishi) give you these mantras equally as to men and give you all and equal powers to absorb (the full powers) of these mantras.” Rigveda 10-191-3. 

Its clear from above that ancient Shastras extended education right to women.There were also women rishis who revealed the Vedic knowledge to others. In fact there were female rishikas who contributed to the composition of vedas.

An early vedic phrase from Atharve Veda indicates that women were encouraged to study vedas even after marriage and use the knowledge henceforth for daily conducts. It states:

“O bride! May the knowledge of the Vedas be in front of you and behind you, in your centre and in your ends. May you conduct your life after attaining the knowledge of the Vedas. May you be benevolent, the harbinger of good fortune and health and live in great dignity and indeed be illumined in your husband’s home.”  Atharva Veda 14-1-64.

Further , interestingly the sloka 9:12 of Manusmriti states:

‘A woman who is kept constrained in a home by noble men (husband, father, son) is still insecure. Thus it is futile to restrict women. Security of women would come only through her own capabilities and mindset.’

This indicates that women were not meant to be confined to household duties as is claimed by many orthodox individuals. There is a clear indication in various texts of ancient India that women were considered as deserving as men when it came to attaining knowledge from scriptures and were indeed meant to pursue knowledge and grow to the fullest of their potential. 

From all of the above, it only means that we have not always moved in forward direction when it came to gender equality. Over the years , scriptures were misinterpreted to degrade the status of women in Indian society , be it for the influence of foreign invaders or the interests of few sections of society. Despite all this , its strange that we have not stopped worshipping the female Goddesses over the years , probably because we fear the wrath of Kali or the curse of Durga , but have failed to see that the Durga and the Kali in our homes are only the manifestations of that divine feminine power. 

I only wonder what if there were a scheme named ‘Beta bachao, Beta padhao’ , if somehow the vedic scriptures were still followed where women were held in high regards , even higher than male section of the society many a times. Gender equality is highly discussed because there has been enough of gender inequality and hence the need of a scheme to protect the girl child. 

Its high time that daughters of this country are protected and educated , for educating a girl is educating a generation, a fact that the vedic people understood the best!

A generation of idiots ?

Those were the days , when we wanted to sit around the bonfire as the evening sun would set and the darkness engulfed the skies . We would want the gate man to put on the fire so that we could get some warmth in that chilling night and roast some daily dose of sweet potatoes.

Those were the days, when the night skies with amazing star-line would draw our imagination to the mysterious world above . When we would wonder what lays beyond and let our fantasies grow to far off places where we knew we couldn’t reach.  

Those were the days, when we would sit idle in our rooms and wait for the evening supper to be ready. Time was never short then. We had enough of it even after the home-work was completed and the favourite novel was read. We still had time for that old book in red cover - feynmans lectures in physics or the brief history of time !

The technology has taken over now. We have stopped filling those pages of PD that we would write every other day. There are online diaries now. We don’t have to take the pains to move our fingers and try to get it more beautifully written for there are fonts styles in abundance for our convenience. 

Most of our time is spent looking at a light emitting screen that has become our second world. This beautiful creation around us has been taken over by the filtered world of instagram and facebook. We do not sit around the fire discussing people and gossiping. It has become easier now , we can sit comfortably in our rooms and see people make themselves gossip-points on their own by posting their personal life for others to see. 

Surely things have become easy now but why is it that we don’t cherish these little joys of life that we used to do earlier. We don’t remember the last time we gathered together to have wonderful discussion on life. Yes , some days back we had gone  to the best restaurant in city , all of us ! But I only remember each one of us staring at our screens most of the time . We did click some pictures of the food and some selfies and even uploaded them on social media . Everyone knew we were partying together and yet we do not seem to be excited about it all . We smiled to look good on those filtered pictures and not because we genuinely were happy meeting each other ! 

Times they are a changing ! But how we wish we could get back to those days when we genuinely had time for each other and would crave for company . Each one of us have a best friend of our own , our dear screens. We are virtually closer to each other but in real we have moved away from our own self. 

I remember reading a quote by Einstein long back when the small screens did not come up and when I had enough time to spend in the library! 

‘I fear the day technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots’ ~ Albert Einstein.
So, are we there yet? 

The idea of 'Love"

Being in love is the best feeling ever. You try to give your best version to someone. Initially it all feels new , fresh and mysterious. Every little tinge of feeling that you get about the person is exciting . Its like going out of your boundaries and reaching out to someone completely new and different. Finding out their secrets , the likes , exploring their world and their lives is all so wonderful.
You slowly start to dissolve the boundaries and linings between the two of you . The emotional barriers break , the metaphysical boundaries are crossed and in no time , she becomes a little bit of him and he becomes a little bit of her . Two souls , who started their journey as lone ones get a companion . To walk the world together , to see the sun rise and set as they sit besides each other , never having to feel like a lone soul ever. His pain becomes hers and vice versa . The bond of companionship feels the best thing in the world and the world outside of this  stops being of too much importance.
Love as we know it , changes us , makes us feel closer to the divine . Its just the two who matter . The two become  one . And as we know it , there is consistency only in singularity . The duality is always inconsistent . This brings us to the basis on which any relationship survives . How much oneness the two can bring in a relationship . How much oneness the two are willing to bring in the relationship . There are two things here- 'willing' and 'can' . The former is the basis of the later .
Its difficult to put this 'oneness' in perspective . It encompasses all the dimensions of life , be it emotional , spiritual , physical , metaphysical or intellectual . Being at ease with the other person is possible only when this balance of different dimensions is sought by the two. And by 'two' , I mean a full involvement by the two . You cannot be just you at a moment and be selective about being the 'two of you' at some other time . As the say , pain demands to be felt , so does love. It constantly demands to be attended to ,  else the friction develops . Remember now , there are two very different entities involved in the process .And mind it , no 'two' can ever be same . We started as two , got closer to the 'one' and unless the two try to be close to 'the' one constantly ,  the seeker called 'LOVE' would not sit back quietly and let it go. It plays all its tricks and tantrums to budge the 'two' and in the event of unwillingness of the one , love strikes at the core of the  other. The two-to-one concept plays it all , in the game of love. 

What have we done !

The jipsy moved briskly through the uneven terrain , a road that was carved out amidst the forest that was now a national park. We were entering the Agratoli range of the park . I sat there, looking at the dense forest around,  occasionally jolted by the impact of the vehicle on the bumpy , irregular track . I was constantly looking through the glass , hoping to see the majestic creature this place was famous for  - One horned rhinoceros .
Lakhi da ( elder brother in assamese )  slowed down the jipsy to halt .
" Gaur asse... " ( There is a wild Buffalo )  , Lakhi da exclaimed .

And in a minute a wild Buffalo emerged out of bushes and passed our vehicle with only few feet to spare . It crossed the road and moved to the other side of it , towards the beel .

" Its time for them to get back after the day out along the beel "  , said lakhi da.  Lakhi da has been driving in the park for years now . He would often sing assamese songs to entertain us on way .  " Chol Gori lei jabo tuke mur gaon ... "  being his favorite . But today he looked serious , probably because he had to be careful inside the park .

Soon more wild buffaloes followed . A few stopped to give a confused glance to us with tilted heads . They were used to seeing the vehicles on road.The tourists often passed their way . We stopped and they moved on . Once the way was cleared , we moved ahead .

We were close to the watch tower now .

Once there, we climbed up the steps to have a wide view of the park and spot some animals . Facing the watch tower was a large beel  , beyond which we could see grasslands and plains . Dense forests followed the same .  Its was time for the rhinos and elephants to have a final dip in the waters before the sundown .

Watching them through the lens of my binoculars , I saw the spectacular animal trudging along the waters. Probably he was done with the days job of wallowing in mud and water and was ready to recede back to the forests . The 'tick bird' rode on top of the rhino , being accepted by the giant as a symbiotic partner . 

On the far end view , a herd of elephants made their way to the tall grass called the elephant grass , and into the dense forest .

A pod of pelicans flew past the beel .  The view was serene . The creatures looked in harmony with nature . I could sit back there for hours , looking at the seemingly untouched wilderness.

'This was how it was suppose to be ! ' , I thought .

...Didi, darwaza kholo...

It was 4 in the evening . Shobha didi had come to clean up my room . She had left assam years back and had come to Delhi to earn livelihood .She would work in more that 10 houses a day to make her ends meet . Obviously, she was always in hurry .

I realised I was late for the class. The dream had taken me back to the days when life was different . The place that had no traffic , no heavy vehicle noise  , no pollution  , no rush , no crowd . There was  peace and harmony . That was the creation in its pristine form .

Soon I got ready , moved down the  stairs and to lane leading to the main road. As I moved , the water from the ACs dropped on my head.  One of those on the ground floor blew hot air  on the lock of hair on my forehead , spoiling the way I pinned them .

On reaching the main road , I sensed a foul smell . Oh yes !! Delhi municipal corporation was on strike . It had dumped the garbage on roads. The view was appalling .

I had forgotten to tie scarf today in hurry . PM 2.5 would soon invade my lungs . We didnt even have to smoke a cigar here. It all came so naturally.I could see some using the masks to reduce exposure to deadly pollution .I was too lazy to get one .I had tried to buy it from one of the stores the other day , but the guy increased the price with increase in the reported PM 2.5 level . " Chuck it " I thought . Let the pollution reduce a bit , it will  become cheaper .

I hurried towards the class bumping on some fellow pedestrians . I moved past the local park .That was the only green patch in the area nearby. I stopped and looked at those sitting in the park . They seemed to enjoy the open space and little greenery that was left in the city.

 I was reminded of the dream.

 'What have we done ... !'  , I thought .

(Images are for illustration purpose only )

A social animal !

"Man is a social animal. He who lives without society is either a beast or God"~Aristotle

Being social animals , we are constantly trying to fit ourselves in this social structure. In the process   we meet many people, good and bad (a subjective opinion). Some stay for long, some don’t. Some though stay with us for a short time yet leave a deep impact on us and we consequently have everlasting memories of them. Some do not leave very good impressions on our minds and we loath to recollect them. In the whole process we and our minds in particular are so engrossed in the societal issues that we forget there is something more to us than just being a social animal. 

Consider a situation in which a person wakes up in the morning and the entire humanity has vanished. There is just him and him alone. The society that had so far shaped every thought of him, had been so deeply engrossed in his mind that he could not imagine a day without it  , had vanished. What then?  

The first thing that would probably happen is denial. His subconscious would take a little longer to come to terms with the fact that it happened. And finally when he realizes that it happened and that he was all by himself now, he would feel the pain of being alone.  Those whom he loved deeply are no more.  There is void, there is silence, there is nothingness! Possibly the same feeling he had when he lost the person he loved the most at some point in life earlier. But then there were others to substitute the lost friend. The endless list of people who kept coming in his life made up to the loss in some way or the other.  The time healed the wounds  to some extent if not entirely and life went on. But this was a different situation. No substitute. Just him!

What now?

This is a question we confront at some point of time (Most of us, if not all!) But the substitutes in life are so readily available that we do not get enough time to ponder over it. And why not, we are social beings after all. We are craving for company. For our survival!

But what if …?